The Box
by titaundomiel
Summary: It's so hard to accept that…"she hesitated as a lump formed in her throat, "All we have left of him fits in a small box" Kensi&Callen. Set after "Fame"


**Author's Note: Hey, everyone! I was going to post this after I finished "5 Bullets" but with this week's episode I thought it would be better If I posted it now and you'll see why. This actually takes place after "Fame" so Dom's death hadn't happened yet. ****I just hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you thought of it. One more thing... I'll miss you, Dom!!!!!!**

Today was one of those days…

Those days you just want to find a hole in the ground to crawl into and disappear. Shut down the world around you because everybody's voice is so deafening you can't even hear your own thoughts.

Everybody or at least most of it had already left. From the bullpen she was able to hear for the first time the silence she had craved so much. Her eyes wondered the big set around her and inevitably fell on their missing partner's desk.

That afternoon Deeks had sat there and arrogantly made it his own. But she had to cut him some slack since he didn't know the whole story. She was surprised at how naturally everyone took the idea of Deeks taking Dom's desk. She knew they had to give up some day but she wasn't ready yet.

She walked up the stairs and made her way to the door at the end of the darkened hallway.

The first thing she noticed when she entered the archives room was the mole infested smell. But compared to the day she had had it was nothing.

She didn't need to look around for long before finding her box there. She smiled at the warning she had written and remembered Sam and Callen making fun of her and some of her belongings.

But it wasn't her box she was looking for. It was Dom's and it rested next to hers. She carefully opened it and took the big-headed green alien out. It was amazing how much it reminded her of him. She could transcript the moment he went on describing the origins of the toy as if he was telling them about another piece of trivia he knew.

Before she even realized a tear fell down her cheek and her eyes wondered again to her box and back to the alien in her hands.

_It could have been me…_

"Kensi"

She immediately recognized his voice because every time he said her name it left a warm feeling in her body. She turned to him and didn't make a move to hide the tears that were threatening to fall.

He walked toward her and her eyes laid on the toy again.

"It's so hard to accept that…"she hesitated as a lump formed in her throat, "All we have left of him fits in a small box"

Callen nodded understanding exactly what she was saying.

She inhaled and rubbed her face in an exasperated move suddenly feeling very uneasy in the room.

"You're upset that Deeks took his place, right?"

She smiled bitterly, "You have no idea how much…"

He smiled too, wondering if he had ever laid eyes on a more beautiful human being. She was… fascinating. Almost a mystery…

"He might seat at his desk and do whatever" he explained tenderly, "But he will never replace Dom"

Another tear fell down her face as she listened to him and he gently brushed it away with the back of his hand making her shiver.

It broke his heart seeing her like that. She was always so strong and independent. But he knew that under that hard shell of an operator there was just a girl and he was honored that she felt comfortable enough to show this side of her to him.

He turned and walked toward the shelf at the end of the room and picked up one box just like hers. He placed down it on the ground and sat on the cold floor with his back against some old boxes.

"What are you doing?" she was curious and at the same time she couldn't shut down the anxiety that came creeping through her mind.

He looked up at her smiling reassuringly, "I want to show you something"

She walked up to Callen and sat beside him. She tried to ignore the feelings she felt when their shoulders brushed against each other.

She noticed that on top of the box it was written his name alongside a capital lettered "Do not touch". She grinned certain that no one had dared to touch his box, since most people both respected and feared him as well. They would usually go on the opposite direction just to keep some distance. Callen was a legend to everyone else outside their little group.

He opened it in what looked like slow motion. She couldn't remember the last time she had been this curious. She had to admit that he was a legend to her too but she tried to not let that get in the way of their friendship. Every single time she was in awe of his presence and all the mysteries that walked alongside him.

Callen reached inside and pulled an old teddy bear that almost looked like it had been in a battle field. She noticed the nostalgia and sadness in his eyes as he examined it before gently handing it to her.

She looked at him with a question mark printed in her face but he didn't say anything and her eyes eventually fell on the bear in her hands.

He then reached in again and his eyes fell on the picture he had just taken out of the box.

Kensi saw a beautiful woman with a big smile on her face. Her light brown hair cascaded in waves to just a little below the shoulders and her green eyes sparkled with happiness.

Callen didn't need to say anything. The way he looked at the picture told everything. He had been (or still was) in love with the woman from the picture. Kensi's chest tightened with… jealousy?

For the second time there was no explanation and Kensi happily embraced the silent treatment. She was all too aware of the meaning of what they were sharing in this mole infested room.

Finally he picked the last item from the box. It was another picture but this time it brought a smile to his lips.

It had been taken on a team's night out there were all of them, including Dom, together smiling for the stranger who had held the camera. She noticed that Callen was next to her with his arm casually around her waist and her head was leaned against his shoulder. Her smile was bigger than ever.

In this moment she almost felt as happy as she had been when that picture was taken. For the first time in a very long time she felt like she belonged, like she was exactly where she was supposed to be.

"Sometimes…" his smooth voice gently broke the silence, "Everything you need fits inside one box"

She felt her eyes watering at his words. She made a mental note to treasure this moment for the rest of her life.

He looked directly into her eyes and Kensi felt as if they were staring into each other's real self. She smiled not knowing exactly what to do. He smiled back and then looked down at the picture again. Kensi did the same but her eyes ended up settling on the teddy bear cuddled in her hands. Callen knew that she was dying to get some answers.

"This was the only thing that was always with me when I was a kid" he explained, "I was always going from shelter to shelter, family to family. But this was… family, I guess"

She smiled trying to give him some comfort. She felt so sorry that he had had to go through all that as a child. She couldn't imagine her life without her family.

"What about her?" she asked disguising her extreme curiosity, "Who is she?"

They both looked down at the other picture. Callen rubbed his thumb through the woman's face wondering how much he really missed her. She was the past and he felt in his gut that he needed to look into the future.

"Her name's Sarah… she was a cop…"

"What happened?"

He inhaled nostalgically, "It doesn't matter anymore…it's in the past now"

In that moment Callen realized that he was finally letting her go and the person that he had been.

She didn't push the subject knowing that she wouldn't get anymore than he had already given her and… it was a lot.

Callen picked the team's picture up from the ground, "This is now…the future"

She shyly smiled, "Is family"

"It IS family" he repeated to highlight what she had said.

A comfortable silence settled between them as Callen put the items back in the box.

"This is me, Kensi" he told her pointing at the box, "That is Dom..." he pointed at the box on the shelf, "And that box full of stuff has your name written all over it"

She smiled at his attempt to both comfort and make fun of her and nodded in agreement before standing up to get her box and coming back to sit beside Callen again placing it in front of her.

She opened it and reached inside to get a specific item.

Callen saw a black leather box like the ones used for jewelry. He noticed how carefully she opened it as if it was the most breakable object in the world.

Callen was able to steal a glance at the Navy medal inside and read the note that came with it when Kensi unfolded the old paper.

_Keep an eye on this, Baby Girl. I'll be back for it someday._

_ Love, _

_ Dad_

"_Someday_ never came…" she hesitated trying to control her emotions and Callen eyed her eager to know more, "He died when I was 15"

"I'm so sorry…" he whispered.

Her sad smile made his heart twist around it self painfully as he placed his hand on top of hers squeezing it gently.

She looked at their hands connecting like a bridge between two lonely souls and reluctantly took it away to close the medal's box.

In a surprising move to Callen she placed it inside his box and left him wondering what the hell she was doing.

She didn't need to glance at him to know that he was wearing a puzzled look on his face.

"This is the only thing that really matters out of all the stuff inside that box" she explained pointing at the box sitting in front of her and then turning her face to his, "And it's safer with you…"

In that moment as they stared into each other's eyes both of them knew there was something more to be said. Some buried feelings came creeping out but were pushed aside almost immediately as they both looked down shyly.

"No one dares to touch anything that has G. Callen written on it" she joked mostly to break the moment they were sharing.

He nodded grinning.

She smiled back and pulled herself up bringing her all-too-heavy box with her. She would take it home and later that evening she would chose what she wanted to keep and let go of the things that were just… stuff. The lucky bracelets were definitely a keeper!

She walked over to the door and opened it with her kind of free hand and turned to look back at his motionless figure.

"Thank you, Callen" her voice was a beautiful whisper in his ears.

He smiled tenderly and with that she left.

He picked up his stuff and put it inside the box except for one item. He stood and put the box on the shelf and stared at the picture still on his hands.

The green eyes seemed to look directly back at him but not judgingly.

"I'm sorry" he whispered to his long lost life.

But there were some things that he had to let go of too in order to move forward into a promising future.

The end


End file.
